Love

This is crazy! I'm talking about this love thing. Im sitting in front of the computer listening to love songs thinking about my love. Wow! I've never been in love and it feels so good. This feeling that I have I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

I've spent many years thinking I knew what love was.  Later when I realized that I knew nothing about love, I set out on a quest to search for love. And what do you know love found me.

Its just that feeling of security that I sought for so long. That feeling of knowing I don't need to search for anything else outside of what she provides. That feeling and knowing that I will never leave her side. Knowing that I will protect her from harm with a vehement defense and care for her as gently as I would my new born child. I'm in love and I love it.

Soon she will become my wife. I need her to function. I need her attention, her touch, her love. How did I ever lose so much control over myself. I have no clue. But I do know that I love every moment and I can't wait to see another day to do it all over again.

Domestic Terrorism

Well are you? Are you one of those people that threatens your fellow Americans with visual terrorism? I was visually assaulted by a group of domestic terrorist in the University of Minnesota's Aquatics locker room.

I went to pick up the bot from his swimming lessons and there they were in all of their sickening glory. Naked men walking about freely with seemingly no destination. And with children around. Why do you have your nuts hanging around little kids? Anywhere else there would an outrage and a police investigation. I was so irritated walking through the locker room. Oh and they weren't just walking nude they were grabbing, flapping, and swaying. WTF! Don't you see these little kids here?

Oh and from what I hear the women locker room was just as bad. Listen people! Nobody want to see your nuts, third leg, boobs, crotch, and ass. Keep your towel near while you change in front of your locker. Wrap the towel around you while you go to shower and put it back on when you are done.

Of course I had to contact the university about this atrocity. And of course they tried to say they feel their system is just fine. NOT!!! To get to the pool is a maze. The family locker room which is all but unheard of is located nowhere near the lesson pools. The staff knows nothing about the "learn to swim" program. And there are no signs, no lifeguards posted at the door as described, and nobody at the door to let us in. Until we beat on  it for a few until they did. Oh and don't let me forget the code in the second door that's not reliable.

These people walking about naked in front of the kids and just as bad as all the domestic terrorist.  These people leave you with a lasting image of their nuts! At least the other terrorist try to end your life. At least you won't have it burn in your mind for the rest of your life. Bastards!!! I went my whole life avoiding seeing other men naked and these disgusting pieces of crap ruined it on a matter of minutes. Nasty mofo's!!!

Some Hidden Code or Something...

Its funny how men will quickly distance themselves from a woman with just the thought of her not being all that he imagined her to be. Its weird to me how a woman can be pushed away so easily and most feelings thrown out once that guy believes she cheated or even capable of cheating. I know that I've been guilty of doing such things. I always figured it was just me. But talking with more and more guys the older I become, men that have more experience in relationships. They confirm that I am not alone in my thinking and my actions.

I once left a girl on Valentine's day because she did something totally out of the ordinary (sleeping away from home and not being able to reach her). I left one girl in the middle of the night while she was sleep because I felt like she was bs'ing me. I completely cut off communication with a cool girl because of how wild I found out she was in her past and figured she could still have some of that in her. I mean some people may say its wrong and I'm too judgemental, but!!! But people have to also remember that your past will catch up with you some day. If you were loose, a cheater, a home wrecker, or just a plain liar then how can you be upset when that great guy comes along with values, honest, believes in family and he doesn't want to ignore your track record and trust that you won't repeat it? Hell even jobs, companies extending credit, and landlords check your history. But in a relatonship your history should not be taken into account? Ok!

What people do says a lot about who they are. Of course we all make mistakes. Of course most of us wish we could take things back. And of course we shouldn't pay for past mistakes forever. But we do. Sometimes shit from our past jumps up and bite us in the ass. I have made mistakes. Some I wish that I could take back. But it is what it is. It may show up at some point and it may not. But if it does then I will deal with it at that moment and not blame the other person for questioning my sketchy past. That is if I had something to be really ashamed of. And I don't. I don't understand why I or men in general react the way that i/we do. Maybe its partially our upbringing... who knows. All I know is that a lot of these wild people out here men and women will have a lot of skeletons squeezed into their closets. And they will have a hell of a time keeping it secret forever.

2010 ~ Let's GO!!!

Wow! 2009 is gone already. I sat back and thought about the wild year I had. Then I decided to think about the past 10 years. So much has happened that I can't remember them all. Well here is what I can remember off top in no particular order.

• Got Married
• Got Divorced
• I became the father of twins. (boy and girl)
• I became a father of another boy
• I was laid off (2) jobs and still advanced in my career
• I started my own business Check It Out 
• I bought a house
• Then gave up the house (in the divorce. good riddance)
• Traveled a billion miles picking up and dropping off my kids (they live in a different state)
• Still traveling a billion miles to be with them
  
• Was falsely arrested
• Was compensated nicely for the arrest
• Walked 11 miles overnight from downtown Chicago to Oak Park. (don't ask)
• Blew a ton of money going out looking for my future wife
• Gave up on that dream and she found me

What a decade! Was it worth the hassle? I would say yes. Because I learned a ton about people and even more about myself. I have a lot of work to do in order to make things right with my past. But I can proudly say I won't be doing it alone. Hello 2010. I greet you with open arms!

Respect

This post is probably more suitable for my other blog Good Dad, Great Father. The hell with it. This bit of light can be applied to all parts of life. Plus I haven't posted anything to this blog in a while.                                                                   

Its absolutely amazing the amount of respect I have for my twins mom. I wasn't able to get the kids this summer because I was slow at work. I was also laid off recently, so some of the support money has been slow to come in. Through all that she has been understanding and even gave me kudos because she knows I'm doing my best. She understands that this economy sucks! She knows that I love my kids to death and I'm not on any bullshit. So in turn she has been real with me and left the bullshit alone. Its a great feeling knowing you are dealing with an adult instead of an immature/slighlty psychotic piece of shit. (that's a whole other story)

To get respect you have to give respect and leave the BS alone. I've been on the grind since 2000 supporting my twins. 9 years down, and at least another 13 to go. I say 13 years and not 9 because my daughter says she want to be a lawyer. Is a parent's job ever really done???

Birthday Boy

It's my birthday (actually on the 31st) and I'm having a great time already. I received a very nice photo album with pictures of my lady. Some very tasty cookies. A really nice homemade card from her daughter, and all of this came a few days ago. Wow! I feel so special.

I typically don't do anything special for my birthday for reasons I may speak of at a later date. But this year is different. My baby is now in my life. Not only is she in my life but she has revitalized me. So not only do I appreciate more what I already did. I act differently when expressing my appreciation. Thanks to her.

With all that said there won't be much celebration this weekend. I would find myself lucky for the mothers of my kids to allow them to call me. I figure that if I continue doing what I do for them then when they become of age they will call me on their own without permission from mom.

Most celebration if any will be done next weekend. I'm meeting some old friends at Bar Louie for a few drinks on Friday. Saturday I will try again to see my brother. Sunday my guy is having a cookout on the west side for HS friends and to celebrate a few of our birthdays. Plus its Labor Day the following day.

Plenty of love and much more to look forward to.

Atlanta Dreaming

Yes! I have been and still am dreaming about the best weekend ever in Atlanta. Now if you know me, you know that I am in the "A" several times yearly. So you might ask whats so different about this trip? Why am I all of a sudden dreaming of Atl? Easy! My lady made her first trip there. This was our first weekend away and it was the best!

I arrived on Wednesday last week and she came in Friday night. BTW I will never put her on American Airlines again. But that's another story. When I finally saw her at the airport I almost lost it. She is such a beautiful woman with a smile to brighten any night. I had to give her the tightest bear hug ever. And the kiss had my heart racing once again.

After we left the airport we stayed over at my cousins apartment with his newlywed. It was a good evening introducing her to them, and they were so hospitable. We ate and watched their wedding video and enjoyed some good laughs. Great night!

Saturday we overslept and missed going to the MLK center with my home girl who was in town also with one of her girlfriends. So we went by my aunts home and I introduced her to both my aunt and uncle then changed clothes to start our day. We had breakfast then went to the Underground Mall. (The Underground has changed so much... for the worst) There we met up with my home girl and toured the area along with Peachtree. We then came back to my cuz apartment to relax and have a little alone time. We were supposed to meet up once again with my home girl to attend the Old School party but again we overslept and wound up getting there around 11pm. But again, a great time. We ended our evening around 4am back at my aunts home.

Sunday morning again we slept late. I got my baby's schedule all messed up by now. She went with me to pick up my little cuz from the airport because she is attending CAU (Clark Atlanta Univ.) We had a brief tour of the campus and her dorm. We took her to the store to pick up a few items and went to grab a bite to eat before dropping her off for the evening. After CAU we decided to go to the MLK (Martin Luther King) center. There the ignorance was bliss! Young girls taking booty pics and a older man taking a piss. All happenings on the grounds of MLK center! Lord help them! We then went back to my aunts home then proceeded to another one of my cousins home so I could introduce her. We left there around 9:30 pm and went to the show to see Orphan. Then we ended our night after that. Another great day... besides the foolishness at MLK.

Just as Friday was the highlight of my weekend with my baby, Monday morning I was at my lowest. I woke up knowing that Monday would be the last day. She would be taking a flight home that afternoon. My aunt and uncle, which whom I appreciate so much for their hospitality treated us to breakfast. After breakfast we had to take the long ride back to the airport. It was hard seeing her go as I stood outside of the security checkpoint watching her until I could no longer see her. It was hard but I thought about all the quality time we were able to spend with one another and I had to crack a smile.

My family gave me rave reviews for my baby. They could see in an instance what I noticed when we first met. They noticed that she might be the once. She is definitely a special woman. Just right for me. I will most definitely be blogging about her again. :-)

Liars!!!

This is a rant that I had in my back pocket for a while.

Don't you hate liars?!?! I know I do. Its frustrating trying to be an upfront person and the person/people you are dealing with are on some bullshit! You know what kind of liar I hate the most? The ones that lie and they really don't have to. The ones that tell stupid lies like "I'm working on it" (when they haven't even started), "I tried" (when there wasn't any real effort), "I'm here" (when they are actually over there) and so on.

On top of hating liars I become disappointed with them especially when they are close to me and/or when I depend on them. The reason why is I know me. I know that once I lost trust its hard for me to trust them again. I tend to forgive but never forget the feeling. Then whats worse is that I begin to distance myself from the liar.

Its crazy! If you know me at all you should understand that I am a very logical person. I understand when people aren't willing, lazy, just can't, or just don't want to. You should also know that I am a very analytical person. When you aren't willing, I will analyze! When you are just being lazy, I will analyze! When you just can't, I will analyze! When you just don't want to, I will analyze! I don't do it to be a jerk. I do it as an evaluation. I analyze and evaluate. I do it so I can avoid making the same mistake twice if possible. And so far it has worked out well for me.

**NOTICE ALL LIARS**
If you plan on deceiving me in any way, please know that I believe that the truth will come out at some point. Don't waste your time and ruin our friendship, partnership, relationship, or whatever it is. I don't play those games and I really hate to waste my time.

Angry Woman

It seems like it going down everywhere I go. What the hell!!! So I was driving to the storage facility and I see this woman pulled over at the corner of the intersection. She left her door wide open, walked around to the rear passenger door and yelled to the person in the back seat to get the fuck out! Exactly! WOW! I thought she was about to go old school and beat the hell out of one of her kids. Now me being the nosey person that I am I had to bust a u-turn so I could see the beat down first hand. Hey I grew up in that era where momma's didn't play. You could get it anywhere at anytime. My occasional beat down help me learn some respect and self control. You know, I stopped nagging her while she was on the phone. I stopped acting a damn fool in the grocery store. And when I got on her nerves I knew it was time for me to be out of the house for a few hours. LOL But back to the angry woman. I saw her stand in front of the door waiting. I was expecting to see a knuckle head young boy step out. And to my surprise it wasn't a young boy, it was a young girl with red hair and a baby. Awww shit! This is deeper than I thought. She must've been flip at the mouth.

Well that was all I saw. The light changed and I had business to take care of. Actually I'm not that nosey. I have enough B&B (business and Bullshit) of my own to deal with. But it has been a long time since I saw a nice old school beat down. I still didn't get to see one but I came close. Ahh gotta love my peoples. :-)

Rookie Drivers!!!

So I just came back from Atl... Again! and the trip there was hell! I have never taken more than 12 hours to get there from Chicago. Why did it take me almost 15 hours this time?!? My aunt is a rookie when it comes to highway driving.

Man! She was 20 minutes late getting to me. Then when we hit the road we had to stop to get her something to eat. WTF! You didn't eat before you left home? I drove all the way down I-57 to I-24. I turned over the car to her and she got on the road doing 50-55. BTW! speed limit is 65 m.p.h. I begged that she speed up and she said that she wasn't used to the road. There aren't any weird turns, you aren't going to pass by your street, I promise there won't be any stoplights popping out trying to get you to run it so you can get pulled over. You get on the highway and go.

You know I was going to make damn sure I wouldn't repeat the 15 hour experience again. I drove all the way back and was a task sergeant when it came to stops. No grocery shopping during fill ups. No dining at the fast food joint when we stop to eat. And absolutely nobody else will drive. Nope can't trust you.

Best Weekend Ever!

I had the best time with my baby this past weekend. I took the Megabus to Minneapolis Saturday and met her there. I gave her the biggest hug and the I got the juiciest kisses ever. She made me dinner, I met her children, more of her family. We went out Sunday night and she looked stunning!!! I am so helpless when it comes to her. This is the first post to this blog. You will be reading much more about her... oh and about the other ass-wipes in the world! :grin: